ok...
so, when did the definition of relationship change? Or was there ever ONE definition? Who said that when we find someone (or think we have) we want to spend the bulk of our time with, that we now have to cut everyone else of the opposite sex off? I believe it's because the potential for a sexual encounter exist. It's sad to say in this day and time because most of us would like to believe that we have evolved past that type of thinking.
Case in point:
I think I fell in love with someone before I even met them. I had the opportunity, sorry, privilege of viewing some of his photography before I met him in person, and it was as if he had known me all along.
I have dabbled in visual art for a few years now, including running an art gallery, and let me tell you, some people just don't get it.
They think they do.
They don't.
This guy...he gets it.
His images could be blurry and in black and white and honestly he has the
clearest and most colorful way of portraying anything and everything I've seen.
Hand's down. Only about 25% of the art I've previewed, would I happily put in a
show. Out of that percentage most of them still leave me thinking "almost there".
I can honestly say there is not a dam thing I would change about his work.
I finally met this person, and the realization that this will probably be the
first and last time we ever truly connect ( because he is married ) was one of the
biggest let-downs I've had this year. Anyone that knows me, knows that's saying
a lot. I don't have a huge amount of faith in anyone or anything. Therefore I have
few disappointments.
This was one of the few.
I was totally moved and possibly even changed in some way by his energy, images and conversation. He probably had no idea I had heard his stories before; only they were in my mind and told by me.
I knew the kind of person he was just by looking at his photos. I'm sitting there thinking "i think i really like this person" and "wow, he makes me like ME even more".
I would have loved to know more about the person behind the images, but…
The last time was well after the initial 10 minute conversation, but love came
over a year of 'Extremely Long' long distance phone calls and emails. The details are complicated & I haven't been the same since then. I'm still in love with that person. This time is a little different but with the same disappointing ending:
Sex (or what some may see as the potential of it) ruins everything.
Whether it's the lack of it in a relationship too dependant upon it, the potential for it in from an outside, platonic friendship, or an abundance of it in a superficial relationship.
Don't get me wrong, the act itself is fine with me. Always has been, probably always will.
It's what we attach to it or the lack of attachment we have through it.
And still, relationship does not mean ownership.
We grow, and learn with and because of each other. Why should we cut
each other short or off because of some un-written rule. I say WE because I have been guilty of wanting to keep someone to myself plenty of times. I am (still) learning that this is because of my own short comings. I am slowly learning that I have no right to deprive anyone of their natural right to grow into themselves. Even if it means possibly connecting in some form or fashion with someone else, and without me.
Anyway, wherever he is right now, if this makes it to him somehow,
I just wanted to say...
thanks.
~a
No comments:
Post a Comment